I realized it’s been a while since I actually sat down and wrote to my blog. So…here goes.
It’s been a very rough road for me, emotionally and physically, to recovery but I am on the way. I was really sore after the mastectomy, and it was very hard for me to have any mobility, nor could I even move the right side of my body for several days after the initial surgery. I am not a person who likes to ask for help so you can only imagine how hard it was on me to ask for help to shower, to eat, to change my drains, to take pills. I felt like a child all over again. Up until today I was only allowed to shower from waist down because I still had my drains in and since I couldn’t reach my back, my mom was helping me in the shower. But yesterday when I saw Dr. Rosenbaum, he removed my drains. Hooray!! What a weird sensation that was to feel the tubes being pulled out of your body. Granted, it was very quick, but I did not realize how far in my body they were! Ugh…gross.
The tissue expander in my right breast feels hard as a rock. It’s been very hard on me to see the 2 drains coming out of my right side (just under my armpit) and the mastectomy scar (with the tissue expander underneath) on a daily basis. It even got to the point sometimes that I had to sit down because I was feeling lightheaded while Jason or my mom drained/emptied my drains. Vicodin definitely helped with the pain but I’ve been trying to wean myself off of the Vicodin as much as possible and as quickly as possible.
Just as I was starting to feel a bit better, I got my first saline injection into the tissue expander yesterday. The actual injection didn’t hurt but boy oh boy did the aftermath hurt like a b%$tch!! Dr. Rosenbaum wasn’t kidding when he advised me to take Vicodin before the procedure. Afterwards, it felt as if an elephant was sitting on my chest. It still does but the pain has subsided a bit. It hurts. A lot. You can’t cough, you can’t laugh, and you can’t take a deep breath or it hurts. Badly. I also barely slept last night, and when I did, I slept almost sitting up. It’s impossible to lay down with the expander hurting as much as it does. There just isn’t a comfortable position. Yup, back to the Vicodin.
I’ve been cleared to drive but I will start doing that in baby steps. It hurts for me to stretch my arm and it hurts for me to type a lot (which requires…yup, you guessed it, stretching the arm) so I’m not sure I’m ready to drive to Boca and work a full day yet but I am working on it. Baby steps. I miss my routine. There’s only so much lounging around a person can do!
I’m headed back home on Saturday. It’s been so good for me to have the help of my parents and a constant stream of visitors while I’ve been here. The more visitors I had, the more my mind was preoccupied and therefore, the less time I had to dwell on the pain. Thank you to everyone who made the time to come see me. Very much appreciated.
I also realize that there’s no way I’ll be able to go back to the office on the day I have my injections, nor can I even possibly drive, so I have to figure out how that’s going to work as well and who will drive me to get my injections. One day at a time.
Until then, I’m working on tying up loose ends with taxes, health insurance, bills, and the usual other things that don’t stop just because you got sick.
Jason has been beyond amazing and beyond understanding. He has fully stepped up to the plate and has stood by me day by day, night by night, holding my hand and always telling me everything is going to be alright and always assuring me that he still finds me beautiful even when he knows I feel bruised and broken. I am one lucky chick.
My next saline injection is this Tuesday and I have heard it will hurt worse than the first injection. Wish me luck!
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